Things been happening lately.. Here we go again, Just like what I've always thought, whenever my mouth spoke, only sharp words are coming out.
Too late to regrets the outcome. Because of my mouth, because of the way I express myself and deal with my problem.. Because I've finally let it all out after all those endurance.
My sis doesn't want me as her sis anymore. She seems to be happier to live a life without me being part of it. This is it, where apologise were useless, and things isn't going the same way as before.
And yet again, I felt guilty for my action, and for once again I think that I do not deserve everything that I have now. I'm not supposed to be any part of this world. Because I'm useless.
I have always think it over again, regardsless that I'm a good for nothing for anyone, why am I still in this world?
Flashbacks kept playing in my mind, the day where everything went the wrong way. I just could not endure it any longer, I'm a jerk to get the wrong hint, where wrong words came out of my mouth as a results to an argument.
Yes, it looks really bad. Where everyone's looking. We argued, I've ended up crying. While kept continue to argue and increasing voice despite the fact that I'm out of breath because I'm crying for too long, I've started to feel dizzy. I can't even walk properly, and I can't stop crying.
Trust me, when I think things are getting better when I finally can stop my crying, it isn't getting better. I got a call from my sis saying that she no longer need a sis like me. She would be glad if we can be friend or best to never contact each other again.
Only god knows how I feel that time and I've started to cry again. Nobody know what would have happened if my mum isn't there to calm me down and sent me home. She calmed me down, saying everything is gonna be okay.
Don't wanna make her sad, I've said the biggest lie in my life, "I'm fine" while fake a smile so that mum will not be worry about me...
